Saturday, November 29, 2014

Part Two: The Feast (and the Unwelcome Trash-Can Dwellers)

A successful Thanksgiving is in the books!

I (along with my ever-helpful husband) pulled off a delicious Thanksgiving meal which we celebrated with our friends Erica and John. What a fun day! And I gotta tell you, not all that difficult.

I can tend to be a little dramatic (I prefer the word theatrical) and so, yes, I felt that this was a daunting task. What if I ruined everything and there was nothing to eat? What if I timed it all wrong and we were all just staring at each other and waiting? What if there really was a neck in the turkey and it made the rest of the bird taste terrible? Oh, the potential disasters that were brewing in my imagination. (Dramaaaaaa)
      But, as it turns out: It wasn't that hard!

Truly! Although we did the prep work that you may have read about  2 days in advance, on the day of I didn't start cooking until the afternoon. We had a relaxing morning and then a very casual: "Ok, time to get the thing in the oven then sit back on the couch." How great is that? And not to mention that Barefoot Contessa did it again: her recipe turned out utterly sensational. It could have been the 1/2 stick of melted butter that topped it all off, that sure didn't hurt.
      We had sides of (super easy) mashed potatoes and (super fast) stovetop stuffing from Trader Joes. I could honestly write an entire blog devoted to my appreciation for and allegiance to Trader Joes. How did we live without one for so long?!

I think some of the highlights of the evening, aside from the excellent and entertaining company, were the almost-but-not-quite raccoon attack and the sawing of the apple pie. (That's right... I also made fresh apple pie)

But let's talk about these raccoons. Around this area, you are considered a societal menace if you harm animals. Obvious adorable creatures like dogs, cats, etc should be included in this level of care but I'm talking about every animal, including but not limited to the demonic raccoons that live all around campus. I hate them.

I understand this is a strong word (as I mentioned, I'm theatrical) but it is the truth. These mangy creatures live inside and around the trash cans and they are pure evil. One of the first things we were told upon arriving on campus in July was to not take out your trash at night.... because the raccoons will fight you. They know you can't harm them- so they stare at your with their beady eyes and wait for you to drop your trash and run. And run, you will.
    A few weeks ago, I was trying to explain the hellish nature of these mongrels to Erica and suffice it to say, she didn't believe me. When she generously offered to take (our first round of) trash out after dinner, we pleaded with her that it was not a good idea. She is so kind and really wanted to help... so she heads out the door up to the garbage cans when she hears a rustling that she mistakes as another neighbor taking their trash out.
"Hello?..."
.......
.......
(appearance of evil creature, surely with demonic background music playing)
"OH S%^T!!!"
and she ran into back to the apartment.

Hate them.


The apple pie story isn't nearly as good as that one. Basically, I just cut through the $2 foil pie pan and got pie insides all over the table cloth. It was fine and we finished the pie anyway.

See, I told you the raccoon story was better.



I forgot to take a picture of the tasty bird after it was pulled from the oven, oops.
This is mid-carving.... which we also googled.






Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Thanksgiving 2014, Part 1: The Preparations

This is the year.
I'm making, from start to finish, my first full Thanksgiving meal. Oh, the joy!
Oh, the hilarity.

Since we are across the country and have only 36-ish hours off from work, we knew there was no way to make it back east for the big schmorgazborg. Which is a real shame, because both of our families really do up Thanksgiving. What can I say, we like to eat.
Ryan and I thought this year would be a great opportunity to make our holiday ours. It's a special day no matter where we are or who we are with. So, we invited one of my coworkers and her fiancĂ© over and then I realized- Oh shoot. I gotta feed them.

When it comes to celebrity chefs, my heart belongs to Ina Garten aka Barefoot Contessa. This lady is the jolliest and classiest lady on the Food Network (and beyond) and not one of her recipes has ever steered me wrong. So naturally, if I'm taking on a turkey, I'm consulting Ina.
I found a tasty sounding recipe for the turkey in her Foolproof cook book and I thought: I can do that!
Buy the bird.
Defrost the bird.
Put some seasonings on the bird and throw it in the oven.
Not so scary!

But tonight, I began "The Preparations". Below is an inner monologue account of what went down:


  • Get thawed turkey out of fridge: At least I did one thing right so far, it's not frozen.
  • Read recipe twice (I've been studying it all week)
  • Oh no... Kosher salt? I was planning to use sea salt! How did I miss that?! Can I substitute? Will I ruin it? Oh no, I'm gonna ruin it. "Hunny, can you google something for me?"
  • 15 minutes later, I'm sticking with sea salt and adjusting quantities. Moving on. 
  • Realize the sink is full of dishes: That's fine, right? I can wash the turkey over here in this little corner where nothing is touching... that's fine.
  • Oh my word, this little guy feels heavier than 11 lbs
  • Re-read recipe
  • Dang this thing is gross. And my hands are freezing. Also covered in turkey juice.
  • Last week, this turkey thought he was having the time of his life. Poor guy. 
  • Ok, it says here to take out the bag o' junk and the neck from the body cavity. Got the bag, that's pretty obvious. But the neck... hmm, the neck. Where's the neck? What's the neck look like? "Hey hunny, can you google something for me?" 
  • "I'm really not understanding this, can you Youtube something so I can see exactly what it looks like?" Wait, what is this... a woman on a farm with her baby on her back gutting a turkey with her bare hands? What is this?! Gross. 
  • I see no neck. No neck anywhere. Should we just conclude that maybe this was the one from the factory where they all ready pulled out the neck, or should I keep staring at it for the next 30 minutes?
  • Re-read recipe.
  • Wash gross, cold, neckless turkey with water. Pat dry with paper towels.
  • You've used an entire roll of paper towels in this bout so far. Sorry, California. 
  • This home-made brine smells pretty tasty! There's another positive. Stay with the positive. Don't tell anyone how oddly this is going or that you spent 20 more minutes on Youtube than necessary. 
  • This looks like it will fit the turkey so it can sit overnight. Now for the plastic wrap. Oh, how I loathe you, plastic wrap.
  • After three layers, I quit. That's tight enough and you're going back in the fridge, you little jerk. 
  • Spray every surface in kitchen with disinfectant. Spray body with disinfectant. 
  • "My hands will never be clean again."

Here's our little guy, hanging out in the fridge. And yes, that's a clothespin keeping the plastic wrap together. 
Don't get me started.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Sweater Weather

I definitely did not bring enough warm clothing with me.

People warned me about the weather in the Bay Area, and you have my sincerest apologies for not fully believing you.

Now people back on the east coast (at least the northern part) are probably scoffing. You don't know what cold is! And actually, I do know. Having lived through the past 9 winters in the Appalachian mountains, I'm familiar. I'm not saying this weather is anywhere near the polar vortex of last year where the inside of our closed kitchen window was freezing over (Day After Tomorrow, anyone?). That is cold. I'm not trying to compare the two. I'm simply saying I probably shouldn't have purged my wardrobe like an eskimo preparing for island life.

In my mind, I thought heck yes I'm moving to California. Good-bye thick sweaters and overcoats! Hello year round open-toed shoes and 3/4 cardis.

That was a mistaken mindset. That is southern California. This is definitely not southern California.

Where those items work about nine times out of ten, you pretty much need to prepare for all weather types in this area. It's a confusing place, meteorologically speaking. It's actually a confusing place lots-of-ologically speaking. But apparently, there are tons of micro-climates that can change within mere miles. So if you're coming from a few miles north of the bridge, where we live, and are planning to head just across it, you need to bring warmer clothes and definitely a coat. But if you're planning to go even 2 miles further in to the city, you need a less heavy coat (and walking shoes- these hills are killer). If you're going to the airport and further south, tank top weather.
We've been told by multiple people that they have a second mini-waredrobe they keep in their car to be prepared for all weather at all times. I'm beginning to the think that's not such a crazy idea.

I have to be honest, I don't know whose genius idea it was to build a major metropolitan city on this land. The weather is unpredictable, the elevation changes will make you dizzy, the land itself is mostly reclaimed (meaning, it's not actual earth... the financial district was built on sunken ships in the late 1800s!), and OH YEA, it's also on a major fault line. Seems like a plan to me...


But, as I've said before, it sure is pretty.


Driving across the Golden Gate Bridge for the very first time to get to our new home!